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Ever wondered how different things are on the other side of the ditch?  The following excerpt from Paul Harris of the Press Association explains some of the finer points of discourse amongst monkeys (photographers) in Britain.

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A brief glossary by Paul Harris (the full piece is too long for publication here) – WARNING, contains coarse language:

“FaaaaaaaaaaaKinnell: ”Good gracious me.

“Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah”: Possibly

“Nokkit on de ‘ead and leggit” Pull out of this assignment

“Elbow dis” – (See above)

“Onya toes” – (See above)

Dis is a pileashit – tubbit: This print is not of the quality desired by the Press Association. Kindly place it on the picture spike.

F4: Term relating to photographic exposure

F off : A photographic term relating to positioning.

Flash: A photographic flash, or light therefrom.

Flash bastard: Rich person exhibiting poor taste.

“Bollux”: I’m sorry: I beg to differ.

Uplight: A light designed to “bounce” off the ceiling.

Up yours: A suggestion to cause immense pain.

Free ‘undred: A long lens

Five ‘undred: A fucking long lens

Double: Device designed to multiply lens focal length by two.

Double bubble: Device designed to multiply income by two.

Stick: Colloquial term for monopod, a steadying device for a camera (as in Nikon on a stick)

Winnder: Elevated position

Tenna ferra winnder: Payment for above.

Getcha arse off me laddercunt: Territorial claim; derivation obscure.

Stakeout: Gathering of photographic colleagues awaiting person or persons in order to secure a photograph.